Rose Headley-Krukerink… “Why, oh why, didn’t I read one of the manuals for people who migrate to another country?”
I gave up my prestigious, but not so fulfilling career as a “change consultant” and tagged along with my husband to find out what else life has to offer.
I started my adventure with two assumptions: I thought Aussies (Canberrans), would be pretty similar to Dutchies – we look alike don’t we? And I thought it would be easy to “integrate” and make friends as a 30-year-old- who-wants-to-figure-out-what-
Well, I can tell you two things: Canberrans are not Dutchies and making friends when you’re contemplating your next career step at home can be pretty darn hard. Why, oh why, didn’t I read one of the manuals for people who migrate to another country? I guess because I like to find out things the hard way.
Only after roughly two years of being here, I started to find my bearings. Two years is quite a while to frequently feel isolated and grumpy or to live with someone who does (I’m so sorry, Marco).
So, here are some do’s and don’ts that might help you, as James Brown would say, “GETUPPA”!
DO put yourself in an environment where people are open to make new friends. Meetup is a great online forum to meet people locally, even though it can be a bit superficial at times (that’s why I started my own group, Inspiring Women). You can also join a regular group/club that does something you (might) like. I recently joined a impro theatre group,and wished I had done it from the start. Besides from laughing my head off, these people love to have a drink after our class. Much fun!
DON’T expect same-age neighbours, who are being very hospitable to you already, to instantly become your best friends. Their life is usually already fully booked and they are generally not looking for new best friends.
DO join a group that has the same cultural background, because it doesn’t mean you won’t integrate with the locals. These “culturally likeminded people” can probably tell you a lot about their experience with cultural differences, you will probably have a laugh about it, and it becomes so much easier to blend in and not feel alien.
Really, knowing that in Australia you end a party with cake, instead of starting it with cake (which we generally do in the Netherlands), can make quite the difference. In my case, joining the Dutch playgroup for my toddler (but actually more for me) was one of the most important steps to feeling at home in Canberra.
DON’T expect you get the same amount of satisfaction from volunteering as you would get from a paid job. There’s a saying: “When you pay peanuts you get monkeys”. Not that I would claim I’m a monkey, but I do think sometimes I was treated as such. It just seems very hard to get any real responsibility within an organisation if you’re not paid by that same organisation. In my case, it was a slightly frustrating and humbling experience after my “top-end job telling everyone what to do”.
FINALLY, DO GETUPPA! Instead of letting possibilities freeze you (in my case: you don’t need to work – just do whatever you’d like to) start experimenting. After coming up with around four business ideas that were farfetched, I started my Dutch Divine market stall selling Dutch stroopwafels and apple cakes (among others).
I haven’t become a millionaire, but met many lovely people at the Old Bus Depot Markets, found out that I love being my own boss and gained a lot of respect for small-business owners. I thought I knew it all before I came here, but I now have a much broader and richer perspective on what makes the world go round, and my teeny tiny contribution to it.
Recently, I sold my business Dutch Divine – my last day at the Old Bus Depot Markets will be on October 25 – and I will move back to the Netherlands after Christmas. I am not returning because I don’t like Canberra, but just because I can’t pick it up and move it closer to my family.
Even though I have struggled, I can now honestly say I feel at home in Canberra and would like to thank everyone who contributed, including the kick in the #$@!, which I shall call James Brown for decency sake.
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